The episode opens with a Twilight Zone-style narrator explaining that youth are more afraid of things like war and terrorism than “real” fears like witches and ghouls, and that the show instills in the viewer a fear of the unknown.
Glep, his girlfriend and Alan are waiting in the Smiling Friends office when Charlie and his girlfriend enter the room. Charlie explains that he is not wearing the costume because he believes that no matter what he chooses to wear, it would be considered offensive ten years from now and he would be disqualified for it, much to his girlfriend’s annoyance. Pim enters in a cowboy outfit and berates Charlie for his reluctance to dress up, before the boss enters the room and explains that Halloween is canceled because they don’t have enough wood for the festive fire. Pim offers to help with the collection, and the boss directs Pim to the woods across the street, but warns him not to cross the wooden bridge or he’ll get lost.
Pim starts gathering firewood, but notices that all the good wood is on the other side of the bridge. He decides to mark his way so he doesn’t get lost, crosses the bridge and starts collecting firewood. Unfortunately, a sudden storm washes away his marks, and after falling, he waits out the storm in an abandoned house. Pim dreams of raising a family with an exotic (English) woman, but his fantasy is shattered when he notices a figure trying to break into the house. Barely escaping through the farm’s chimney and cornfield, he jumps into a wooden boat and lassos a paddle, managing to escape the unknown figure. However, as he stops to rest, a figure – a clay forest demon – appears and chases Pim into the Smiling Friends Inc. building. Pim and the demon crash into the party and Party Bro accuses the demon of blackface. The demon tries to explain that he is not wearing a costume or any make-up, but most of the party goers are just as aggressive and murder the demon by snapping his head, tearing off his limbs and eating his flesh. The party-goers then set the demon’s corpse on fire and the boss thanks Pim for gathering firewood, much to the horror of Pim, the rest of the Smiling Friends Inc members and their girlfriends, except for Charlie, who comments that this is exactly why he doesn’t dress up for Halloween.
The episode ends with the narrator trying to end the episode, but a police officer interrupts him and tells him to leave because of the complaints lying around.
Smiling Friends Season 1 Episode 4 Transcription
[play intro]
[The episode opens with a black screen switch to live footage of the Mystery Show host.]
Mystery Show Host: How would you define horror? If people today put their new things and gadgets aside for a brief moment, they’ll probably start babbling about nonsense like wars, plagues, and terrorist attacks. What they fail to mention are the real horrors of reality like witches, ghouls and alien saucers. After tonight, however, you can add something else to that list, the primal, unsettling terror of the unknown.
[Fog covers the screen and cuts to Smiling Friends Inc. during the Halloween season]
[A crow cawing is heard in the background.]
[The office is shown with Halloween decorations with Alan, dressed as Joaquin’s Phoenix’s Joker, taping a spider decoration on the TV and then taping a jack-o-lantern decoration on the cabinet. Glep, dressed as Ronald Regan, sits in an armchair with his girlfriend, dressed as Nancy Regan, rubbing his belly. Charlie and his girlfriend, dressed as a stripper, enter the office through the door.]
Alan: Charlie, what should you be?
Charlie’s girlfriend: She doesn’t want to dress up for anything.
Charlie: Look, I’ve seen too many people ruin their careers because of old Halloween costumes, I don’t do that.
Alan: Why don’t you just put paint on your face and be a zombie or something?
[Alan puts another piece of tape on the jack-o-lantern on the shelf.]
Charlie: Dude, face paint gets people in more trouble than anything else. I mean, I have no idea what will be offensive ten years from now.
[Pim, dressed as a generic cowboy, appears in the office.]
Pim: Come on Charlie, where’s your Halloween spirit? You can be anything when you put on a costume!
Charlie: Pim, that’s crazy.
Pim: Could ordinary Pim be the regular sharpest gunslinger in the west?
[Pim fires his B-B cowboy gun.]
Charlie: You can’t hit that, man.
Alan: You have to pick them up when you’re done. Don’t leave them all over the floor.
Charlie: I’m 100% positive you wouldn’t hit that.
[One of Pim’s B-B bullets hits the bottle.]
Charlie: Okay, you actually nailed it.
[Another B-B bullet hits the bottle and is shot into Alan’s eye.]
Alan: Aah!
Pim: Oh my god, Alan, I’m so sorry.
Alan: What the hell [bleep], Pim?
Pim: I thought it was safe, Alan. I really didn’t know he could do that.
Alan: That’s cool. Just no more guns inside, okay? We’re done with the gun stuff.
[The boss, dressed as Charlie Brown, enters the office.]
Boss: Everyone, I have bad news. Halloween is cancelled.
Pim: Oh!
Charlie: Oh!
Charlie’s Girlfriend: Oh!
Alan: Oh!
The Boss: Yeah, we’re all out of wood and it just ain’t the same without a big Halloween bonfire. If only someone could gather firewood. Oh, good.
Pim: Oh, I could cook some wood.
Boss: Oh, Pim, that’s awesome! Follow me. [The boss opens the door and walks out of the office.] I’ll show up where the good stuff is.
[The scene cuts to the boss opening the door to Smiling Friends Inc. He and Pim walk out the door. The boss points to the forest in the distance.]
Boss: Okay, see those woods over there?
Pim: Yeah.
Boss: So I usually just go in there and pick up some crap off the floor and –
Pim: Oh, okay?
Boss: What?
Pim: Oh, I was just saying okay.
Boss: Yeah, everything’s fine. It’s all good. Uh, but anyone, yeah, it’s usually a little sparse this time of year, but if you look hard enough, you should be able to find something.
Pim: Uh, yeah, that sounds pretty easy. I should be able to do that.
Boss: Wait! One more thing. [A sound like a bird is heard.] Whatever you do, don’t cross the rickety bridge.
[Sounds are heard.]
Pim: Why not? Huh? what?
[The boss appears right in front of him.]
Boss: Because… you’ll get lost!
[Boss returns to Smiling Friends Inc.]
[Ominous music plays.]
[Pim swallows]
[Pim is shown in autumn woods.]
[Peppy’s music plays.]
[Pim goes into the forest.]
Pim: Picking up twigs, picking up twigs. I like it – I like to collect twigs. One twig, two twigs, three twigs, four! I like the twigs and want more!
[The bird lands on Pim’s finger and sings a chirping tune.]
Pim: Oh, thank you, Mr. Bird. Wah!
[Pim kisses the bird, which flies away.]
[Pim looks at the twigs he has.]
Pim: Hmm. These sprigs are nice, but I would have liked something with a little more girth.
[Pim looks around for more firewood and sees one.]
Pim: Hey, that’s about it.
[The scene pans from the firewood to a long bridge over a river and into a dark forest.]
Pim: Hmm. What did the boss say? About that rickety bridge again?
[On the tree next to him, the boss’s face appears on the wood.]
Boss: Don’t cross the rickety bridge. You will get lost!
[Boss face on tree coughs.]
Pim: The boss said you can’t go over the rickety bridge, but all the good wood is there. Hmm. This is truly a cowboy’s dilemma.
[Pim looks at a piece of chalk.]
Pim: If I mark the trees as a true pioneer, I’ll find my way back, no problem.
[Pim spits the ankle loogie, but spits on himself instead.]
Pim: Oh yeah.
[Pim heads to the tree and marks it with chalk.]
[The crow cawing is heard again in the background.]
[Ominous music plays as Pim steps onto the bridge.]
[Pim looks back at Smiling Friends Inc. in the distance.]
[Ominous music continues.]
Pim: Well, a cowboy’s gotta do what a cowboy’s gotta do.
[Pim crosses the bridge and goes into the dark forest to collect firewood.]
[Pim continues gathering firewood in the dark forest.]
[The twig snaps. A rustle is heard.]
Pim: Uh, well, that’s about all I can carry. I should probably get back to the office anyway. He’s getting late.
[Pim takes a walk before it starts raining in the forest.]
Pim: [looks at the sky and gasps] What? [thunder rumbles] Oh, what the… [Rain washes away Pim’s tree.] Oh, no, no, no, no! No! Ah!
[Pim gasped]
[Music is heard.]
[Pim runs in the dark rain forest and picks up a tree branch.]
[Pim continues to breathe.]
[Pim walks and looks around the rainforest.]
Pim: Oh, confusion.
[thunder falls]
[Pim screams from the lightning and falls off the edge, dropping all his wood.]
Pim: Oh! Ah! Ooh! Ah!
[Pim continues to scream.]
[Pim falls and hits a tree. He falls into the water of the river.]
[Pim gasps for breath from the waters in the river.]
[Ominous music continues as Pim is swept away by the waters of the river.]
[Pim continues his breathing, making his way from the waters of the river to land.]
[Pim spots an abandoned house in the distance. It goes to that. He opens the door and enters.]
[She appears in the house after closing the door.]
[thunder rumbles]
[Building creaks]
[Pim looks at his broken and dirty cell phone and presses it.]
[He whispers.]
[Pim looks out the window.]
Pim: I’ll stay here until the rain stops. Everything, everything will be fine. This place is not that bad. I could actually see myself settling here. Yep, that’s exactly where my exotic wife will sit and knit me beautiful blankets. Hello woman!
[Pim’s imaginary exotic wife appears in the chair.]
Pim’s Exotic Wife: Hello, Pim. I love you.
Pim: And there the young will sit and have wild fun. Hello my babies!
[Pim’s two imaginary children appear]
Pim’s Kids: Hello, Papa Pim! Hello, Daddy Pim!
[Pim goes to the window. A shadowy figure can be seen next to a tree in the distance.]
Pim: And now I’ll be out there toiling away on my beautiful farm. Hello farms!
[thunder rumbles]
[Pim sees a shadowy figure moving behind a tree and screams. He sits up and starts breathing again.]
[Pim hears a noise and a mysterious creature covers the door handle and tries to open the door.]
[Pim gets up, gasps and grunts. He tries to open the window but can’t open it.]
Pim: What should I do?
Pim’s Children: Run, Papa Pim! Run, Papa Pim! Run, Papa Pim!
[Pimo’s exotic wife turns out to be a terrifying, shrunken version of herself.]
Pim’s Exotic Wife: You’ll never run away. This is where you die, Pim. Ahhh!
[Pim gasps and whines as he runs past his imaginary children and climbs the chimney of the house.]
[Pim continues to pant and grunt as he climbs the chimney.]
[Pim gets stuck at the top of the chimney, trying to get out, but once he does, he falls out of the chimney of the house.]
[The door of the abandoned house is heard opening and Pim gasps as he climbs out of the chimney.]
[Pim groans as he lands on the ground. The door of the abandoned house opens. He grunts once more.]
[Music plays]
[Pim grunts and runs into the cornfield.]
[In a cornfield, Pim runs for his life and is chased by the shadowy figure of a mysterious creature.]
[Pim runs to the lake and the boat, grabs the rope and looks around for the paddle. Said paddle will appear at the top of the tree. Pim swings the rope, but part of it falls into the water.]
[He grabs the rope again and sees a mysterious figure about to come out of the cornfield.]
[Music continues to play]
[Pim swings the rope but fails again, does it again and successfully grabs the paddle with the rope.]
[A shadowy figure is about to emerge from the cornfield.]
[Pim has a paddle in his hands and is paddling the boat on the water in the lake.]
[Pim and the music calm down.]
[A noise is heard.]
[An owl is heard hooting.]
[A tired Pim successfully lands his ship in the area and gets out.]
[The demon comes out of the water and goes behind the tree while Pim is calming down in the tree.]
[Pim turns to see the forest demon screaming at him.]
[Screams and runs away.]
[spooky music plays]
[Pim hits two tree branches.]
[He continues to run away from the forest demon as said demon chases him.]
[Pim hits a tree branch and falls.]
[The forest demon screams at him. Pim fires a B-B bullet into one of the demon’s eyes. The demon screams and covers one eye.]
[Thunder rumbles.]
[Screaming and panting, Pim comes out of the forest and into the city streets. He sees Smiling Friends Inc. in the distance]
[He runs towards the building, but is followed by a flying forest demon in the sky and flies down.]
Pim: Aaah!
[Pim heads to the door and tries to open the lock. He is unable to open it.]
[Whining and knocking on the door.]
[The screeching of a forest demon is heard in the distance. Pim pulls out his keys and tries to open the door, but is still chased by said demon.]
[Screams and runs to the building’s fire exit and opens it.]
[He runs and screams down the hall from a screeching forest demon chasing him.]
[The demon grabs one of his shoes and takes it off. Pim runs away screaming.]
[Another scene shows a Halloween party with party goers seen in a building.]
[slurred speech]
[Pim climbs out the door and the forest demon catches up with him.]
[A demon appears in the room and screams]
[The demon stops and everyone looks at him.]
Party Bro: Hey, is that the fucking [bleep] black dude?
[The forest demon suddenly begins to speak.]
Forest Demon: No, no, no, this isn’t blackface, I’m a real demon.
Party Bro: Bro, please tell me it’s not blackface.
Witch Partygoer: Are you serious?
Zombie Partygoer: That’s not cool, man.
Forest Demon: No, no, no, no. you don’t understand I’m literally a forest demon from the other side of the bridge. This is not a costume.
Partygoer: Get out dude! [A partygoer punches the demon and it falls.]
[A demon appears on the ground while being torn apart and killed by the party goers. The crowd also murmurs and starts cheering.]
[Party-goers grab the demon’s arms and the others eat the demon’s meat.]
[Pim heads to Glep, Alan, Charlie and Glep and Charlie’s girlfriends. With the exception of Charlie, everyone has a shocked look on their face as they continue to watch.]
Charlie: See, that’s exactly why I don’t dress up for Halloween, that’s the reason.
[The glass shatters and the screaming continues]
[Party-goers place the demon’s remains on the ground, one pours gasoline on him and the other sets fire to the corpse with a lighter. The corpse starts burning and the partygoers cheer.]
[Glass Shatters]
[A traumatized Pim watches as the boss holds the now-dead demon’s arm.]
The Boss: Yeah, and thanks for getting the wood, mate. Halloween is saved!
[The boss eats a piece of arm. The screaming and shattering of glass continues as the boss throws his arm into the fire.]
[Smoke alarm starts beeping.]
[A muffled scream is heard.]
[The scene cuts back to the Mystery Show host watching on TV.]
Mystery Show Host: So guys, what did we learn tonight? The only thing scarier than the unknown up there is the unknown down here. And if you knew what was going on here, you’d go crazy. I guess I’m just more demented than most.
[A police officer arrives.]
Cop: Hey, dude, you can’t hang around here and watch cartoons. We’ve been getting complaints all night. You have to leave.
Mystery Show Host: Why? What law am I breaking?
Officer: That would be Title 18, Chapter 55, Section 55.06, prowling and prowling at night. This is a third degree misdemeanor.
Mystery Show Host: Okay, I didn’t know that.
[Mystery Show Host leaves]
[After the host is revealed to be pantsless as he leaves.]